One of the secretaries at my school, Tina, is the last of the old timers. And is country. Tina isn’t stupid, she is uneducated, unaware, has no tact, and doesn’t care. One of my favorite things is what we call Tina-isms. She absolutely destroys words, names, and twists idioms and phrases around. Tina doesn’t pay attention, and usually thinks that what she is saying is correct.
Some of my favorites:
Brushed nickles (brass knuckles)
Butched (butchered, as in haircut)
A bird in the hand leaves two more to pick up.
When she was sick she got a calloscopy and esofospy (colonoscopy and endoscopy)