“He’s so stubborn, and gets worse as he gets older.” This is what my step-mom, C, said about my dad not wanting to celebrate his birthday, his 70th birthday. The stubborn one, possibly even unaware, is C.
A month ago I told C that I want to visit him, as a surprise. She was thrilled! We exchanged some emails, and she asked if I thought she should invite her adult kids and their families. I told her that selfishly I would like for no one else to be invited. I’m very close to my dad, and I rarely see him. They see her kids all of the time.
Last week I talked to C and she said she hopes I don’t mind, but she’s going to invite her kids on Sunday for the night, a drive from Salt Lake to St. George. I will be there Saturday through Tuesday. She thinks it would be good to have his birthday celebration then, so they don’t have to drive to Salt Lake for another one. What am I supposed to say? I wanted to say, “Hell yes I mind! We discussed this in our email. Dad doesn’t want to celebrate. He and I will want to hang out. Your kids are assholes!” She had just gotten done telling me what assholes they were on Christmas. Instead, I said, “Of course not.”
Today I got an email from C, her sister is moving in with them, temporarily. She thinks the big problem is going to be sleeping arrangements, I’ll be on an air mattress in her sewing room. The big problem is they’re loud and intense. They’re high maintenance and don’t appreciate that Dad and I like to hang out and visit, maybe read, or putter in the yard, take a nap. I want this long weekend to be about him, and what he wants to do. He and I have the same idea of fun. So the plan is, I’ll go with him to Costco, for his daily yogurt swirl, and spend a day hiking in Zion. And I’ll take my earplugs.